Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize