yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize