My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
