dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
