Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
