She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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