the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize