watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
