walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
