That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
