Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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