found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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