i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
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