I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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