covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
