I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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