Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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