just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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