i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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