By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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