I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
