I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
