it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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