haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
