Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.

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(616): View more from Michigan

our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.

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(214): View more from Texas

My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you

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(516): View more from New York

Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar

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(501): View more from Arkansas

And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"

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(208): View more from Idaho

I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?

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(765): View more from Indiana

That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis

(1-765): View more from Indiana

Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced

(1-765): View more from Indiana

and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!

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