Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
