Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
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She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
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There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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