Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
