What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
