you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The uberlube is also flammable
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I pour the whiskey from now on
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
