Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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