Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
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I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
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Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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