Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
