I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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