I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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