And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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