I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
