Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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