Me. At least after what I've been through.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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