thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
