He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
