Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
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she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
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Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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