Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
