I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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