I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize