all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
