Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My life is pants optional.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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