I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
