he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
