You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
