i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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