2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
