before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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