That's when you crack a 10am beer
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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