I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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