what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
