What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
