What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm at about main and main street
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I don't deserve a penis
40s are totally the cure
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
