That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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