White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
