Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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