when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
