If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
