I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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