i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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