Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
